so here i am at this fork in the road again: i want to tell you whats been happening, but i dont feel like explaining it. you should be here so i can tell you in person. alright, long story short, jons been talking to me, like everyday, and his gf knows. well he asked me to get food tonight, i did. i didnt apologize for what happened, we both knew it was done with. now we’re even, starting fresh. i told him i was glad we had time apart, i needed it, i had to get away from him. but then he brought up when Jupiter died. he said he didnt have anyone, he needed someone, and i wasnt there. that hurt so i told him to stop. i did later apologize for that tho. cause his best guy friend devins away at college, he has his gf but shes just a gf, i was his best friend. anyway, he said if we’re going to be friends again we gotta put all this stuff behind us and grow up. so, i guess we’re friends again. and i dont feel like explaining myself because i dont need to and you dont deserve it, to be completely honest. i know thats really mean to say and im sorry but, i mean its true lol. you dont even deserve to be reading this but you are right? idk maybe you’re not. you know what, fuck you you fucking left me!
anyway, his gf texted him and asked “you’d tell me if you decided to start hanging out with her again right?”. and i was like seriously jon you didnt tell her, typical jon. so then of course he had to say the worst response possible “im actually with her right now”. so shes all afraid shes losing him, which theres really no way to convince her shes not. i follow her on tumblr so i know she “thinks” she loves him and wants to tell him. she was hinting at it but jon doesnt think she really does, just that she thinks she does. i dont really think she does either, but eh idk. but he doesnt love her, so obviously he doesnt want her to say it. so yea theres that mess, thank god im not in it lol. i mean i guess i kinda am, but, whatever :p
so when we got to his house, well i was fucking bloody terrified to be honest. his mom never liked me so she probably hates my guts now. it was so awkward, his sisters even looked surprised. but me and his dad have always had a good relationship so we were good, and his mom was really nice. idk maybe she gets it, if not eh, whatever, again :p
and then we made origami! and we played this game, omfg! you know that japanese game you were telling me about, where you just roll around and stuff sticks to you?!?!!!!?!?!?!??!?! well jon has it, and i played it! ahhh its awesome :) you see idiot these are times when id coming running home to tell you!
jons been smoking alot recently, which is great cause so have i. i know, i know so bad, but, oh here it comes again, whatever :P ;) so yea, i brought up smoking together and he said it’d be a bad idea. like seriously, after all this time he still doesnt trust himself around me. honestly, im very glad im not his girlfriend.
guh, anyway, thats my jon story for tonight. theres so much more to explain but im tired of it right now. i told him about you, i told him you left. when he first asked me what happened i started saying good stuff about you, i called you perfect and had a huge smile on my face. and then i said i never saw or heard from you again, and jon said you must not be that perfect. and when i said perfect, i meant all your flaws, every single one of them, and i still thought you were perfect. you know geoff, i really did love you so damn much, i gave all of myself to you and you fucking knew that. honestly, as stupid as i guess it sounds i would still love to see you again, i really would. but if you ever come around again prepare yourself to be hit with a bat or stabbed with a knife or something. cause honestly, if i saw you right now i probably would stab you, no offense. but yes i probably would.
gah, anyway. thats it for tonight. i have back to back class and work tomorrow, yippie :p oh yea i started class again today, its good.
seriously geoff what the hell.